Why Facebook reminds me of dating

Facebook is like dating

Some people just don’t get it.

They do not understand that social networking is all about building relationships.  I, like many of my friends, am a bit protective of my Facebook account (unlike twitter and LinkedIn which I view as far more open networks).  So I generally study the Facebook friend requests for awhile and decide whether or not I’m going to confirm this new friend. My general rule of thumb is I have to have met you at least once in order for you to be my FB friend. I realize that everyone has different boundaries and people across social networks should respect that. Some people are open to friending everyone, others of us are not.

But back to dating.

More than once lately I have had someone ask to be my friend on Facebook whom I thought was a real friend (or at least a business acquaintance) only to have me accept them and quickly regret it. Why? As quick as you can hit “confirm friend” they send me a request to “like” their business page. Ugh.

I’m thinking, “I’ve just been used to get your numbers up!”  To make that old baseball/dating analogy I haven’t gotten to home plate and you’re envisioning a home run!  Hold your horses friend. I’m still on deck!

Is there a lesson to be learned?  When it comes to social networking, please, oh please engage the person and connect with them as a human being. Don’t make them feel used. Be sure to chat with them a bit and show them that you care about them. The business will come later. Make comments on their photos and videos and show them you like what they have to say. After all, you have cared enough about them to ask them to be your friend, so be one!


  • Patrick Savage says:

    So true… people forget that the word is “Social” Media.

    Even if they throw “Marketing” on the end, that is still the lowest priority word, and the last in the phrase. You have to start at the beginning before you can get to the end. People are so anxious to go the “get rich quick” route they forget about taking time to grow an adequate brand identity.

    I could go on-and-on, but I won’t… Thanks for the post.

    • Thanks Patrick. And let’s not forget the guy who friended me and then started posting unsolicited videos on my wall! How fast can you un-friend someone?

      • Patrick Savage says:

        Videos?! Oh no! YouTube? Business? Others? I want to hear about this next time. Could be an interesting case study.

        • MarketingMel says:

          For real Patrick! I made the mistake of “friending” someone I didn’t personally know who works in video. Before I knew it he was posting videos to both my chat (what???) and my wall! I really felt that gave the look that I was endorsing these videos so I un-friended him! Well, as you say all of these experiences give me more fodder for additional posts!

  • Neil Deluca says:

    Great analogy!! Use should consider using TweetMeme plug-in since it looks like you are using WordPress.

  • Neil Deluca says:

    Wouldn’t it be nice if Facebook had a “mouse-over” option like Twitter so that you could see the user’s profile without drilling in, which can be very time consuming, but necessary.


    • MarketingMel says:

      Neil, thanks for your comments and yes, I completely agree with you about the mouse-over option. Or better yet, LinkedIn where you get to completely check out their resume before accepting their request! Also thanks about the tweetmeme suggestion. I will definitely look into it. I need to do more to publicize my blog so any of your suggestions as a yahoo guru are welcome. Again, thanks for reaching out!

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